Badgers in Roma 2008

 Veni (We came.  Well, some of us did.....)

Vidi (We saw.  Through an alcoholic haze.)

Bibi (We drank.  Everything that was put in front of us.) 

Rome - Roma, Caput Mundi (capitol of the world), la Citta Eterna (the eternal city), Limen Apostolorum (threshold of the Apostles), la citte dei sette colli (the city of seven hills), L'Urbe (The City) - the plaudits, like Sharpos one liners, are endless.  However, unlike Sharpos one liners, Rome is thoroughly modern and cosmopolitan.

As one of the few major Eurpopean cities that escaped World War II relatively unscathed (due to the Italians being a bunch of pansies and capitulating very early to the Nazis), central Rome remains essentially Renaissance and Baroque in character (once Sharpo got going there were a few more adjectives being used rest assured).

The historic centre of Rome is listed by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site.  The Badgers soon changed that......

When in Rome, the Badgers recommend...... 

On to the tour itself.  Munkey had a quiet flight out....

First night and the Badgers open their account.... 

Munkey can't keep up with the pace.....

Sharpo resumes hostilities with Helen and convinces her that, yes, his breasts are indeed bigger

Munkey picks up the bill!!  Top simian!!!

Big Al and Sharpo open their account.  Smithy nurses an apple juice.  He plays rugby you know

A collosal ruin, defunct and ravaged by time and the elements.  Plus he's standing in front of the Collessum

Badgers in the Colosseum.  Apparently it's made of travatine.  Thanks for that info Smithy (after the 50th time it did start to irritate a little bit mind.......)  Constructed in only 8 years, the Colosseum was inaugurated in AD 80 with '100 Days of Carnage'.  We only had 4, but they never had Sharpo and Jerry........ 

The quality of the statues was amazing.  Never realised the Romans were so fat though.......

Mind you, just think what might have been if Michelangelo had met Sharpo instead of David.......

What a thought.  Anyway, back to Rome! 

'I've justus seenus Russell Crowe!'

'Nah, itus wasus some twatus thinkus he's Markus Smithus'

'He playus rugbyus you knowus'

The Badgers convene for lunch to celebrate Sharpos sponsored walk of Rome to find JD and Debs (who were stood behind him the whole time!).  How we laughed! Sharpo not amused..........

Romes oldest building, the Pantheon, built between AD 119 and 128 by the Emporer Hadrian (who also did a nice line in walls).  The hole in the ceiling is believed to be attributable to a disagreement between the builder, Stevenus Sharpus, and his contractor, Commercialus Stonus, who swore blind that bit wasn't shown on the drawings... 

'Alec, do you play rugby?'

'No Liz'

'DING DONG!!!'

Liz gets passed over for Big Als true love

Then again..........

Helen offers to settle the bill with payment in kind.  Cue Italian waiter grinning like a fox wiping it's arse with a wire brush

Big Nige decides that if it's that easy he fancies his chances too......

....whilst Debs gives up any hope whatsoever......

........meanwhile Mike tries to remember where he parked his moped

Two big boys enjoying a big drink

Tryng to keep up with the girls brought Smithy to his knees.  He plays rugby you know.  The girls don't (play that is)

Bernie perplexes JD by asking what his name is

The amazing man with two heads (and one motorbike jacket, moped still unnacounted for.  Bernie reckons she did locate his helmet though)

Jerry leads the Christmas carrols.  Em does her best Italian waiters smile

The Badgers receive a Papal blessing; 'Go forthus and drinkus much Peroni whilst watchingus the Rugby myus children.  Amen.'

And just in case you thought we'd dressed up Sharpo in a bed sheet....

Some mothers do hav' em

NO MORE GRAPPA!!!!

TOO MUCH GRAPPA!!!!

Mark lines up for some Munkey lurve.....

The Badgers blend into the Rome crowd.  Dressing incognito was a blinding idea

Never underestimate the power of Grappa

 Swing low, sweet chariot .......

Even though she was wearing dark glasses, everybody guessed she was with the twat in the beret

The teams line up for the anthems............

.........whilst the Badgers line up for the beers

Italy kick off, England catch.  It went downhill from there.....

Jonny Boy spots the Badgers in the crowd and calls a few scoops in with Sharpo

Refreshed with a cheeky rasper, Jonny Wilkinson lines up for the winning penalty......

......you beauty!!!!

Closer than Sharpie buttock cheeks and about as entertaining

With the toilets blocked, everybody had to gather round while Sharpo made a quick post game deposit.......JD fishes around for his handkerchief

The victorious Italians take the lap of honour.  Yes, I know we scored more points than them, but we didn't really beat them did we?

He plays rugby you know

........coming for to carry me hooooooooome!

3, 2, 1 back in the room.  JD and Munkey take a breather

Big Nige poses with Little Em.  Both have been shagged by Big Al at one time or another

Sharpo squares up to Big Nige whilst standing on Micky Blues feet to stop him dancing.  Jerry slowly passes into a coma.......

JD and new friend

And they call it Munkey love........

Badgers on the Spanish Steps.  No,  we don't know what Sharpos doing either

Munkey takes a moment of quiet contemplation.........

.....then gets straight back on it!

'Smithy, I think this one's corked'

Jerry and Munkey contemplate sharing a pizza

'Sorry Munkey, there doesn't seem to be one with Monkey Nuts'

'Bugger'

Doughy, greasy and unappetising.  But that's enough of how Liz feels about Mark, here's the man himself with a greedy bastard pizza 

JD entertains the crowd with his post game wit and reparte

The girls look on adoringly

JD then anounces how many of everyone he can now see

The novelty wore thin eventually, but you had to be there........

Badgers and pizza.  JD continues with his own private party up at the end

Munkey finishes off with a nice espresso

JD's always relied on the support of his fellow Badgers.  It's either that or he'd fall flat on his arse

Last night on tour, Sharpo entertains the crowd with a tinkle on the ivories

Sharpo - 'Any requests?'

Em - 'Get off the piano you fat tuneless git'

Sharpo 'You hum it love, I'l play it........' 

BADGERS IN ROME 2010?

We'll only go, for the Bru-nell-o............