The 2008 AGM was held on the 18th July aboard the good ship Levin Is Strijd and was attended by 16 Badgers and guests. After lunch speeches were led by a outgoing captain Richard Maggs and after a threat to have Harry deliver the committee's yearly summary, the main speech was delivered by Alec Vallintine, taking the opportunity to thank a number of Badgers.

'Get yer coat luv, you've pulled!'  Genty opens his account early doors

First thanks went to the members for your continuing support. At the end of the day it is your society and it can only exist whilst it enjoys such good support from you. Second thanks went to those contractors who sponsored the prizes at the golf days this year. This is very much appreciated as it allows us to keep the costs of the days down for the members and allows us to fund other things such as the merchandising, balls etc etc. So, thank-you to Ruddy Joinery, Cablecom, Commercial Stone and PIP who sponsored the days at Woldingham, Birchwood, Darenth and South Essex respectively.

Thirdly we thanked Richard Maggs for his tenure of captaincy of the Badgers. Richard has been a superb Captain and has proved an excellent role model, attending every golf day and always one of the last at the bar with a pint of Guinness in his hand. Richard hosted an absolutely fabulous Captains Day at his home club, Wrotham Heath, made even more special by the fact he chose to do it on the occasion of his 50th so he could share a round amongst friends. They can't have turned up as it ended up with just Badgers!

Only joking, it was a superb day, so top Badgering to Richard!  The Captains day was won by Mike Healy and was thoroughly enjoyed by those of us fortunate enough to be invited, which Richard generously topped off with a discussion of his wifes physical attributes and sexual prowess. Next time he's promised to do it with Powerpoint as well.

Big Al comes all over Sharpie style and gets in an early molest with the lovely Jane 

On the subject of Mike Healy, we note that he is still awaiting receipt of the Captains day trophy, still in the possession of Mark Smith, he plays rugby you know, so we'll tell him to get a shift on as we want to pass it on at the next golf day. It's not your dick Smudge, you can let go of it.....

In respect of our charitable activities, as the Government have given Badgers a reprieve, we have decided to spread our money around a bit although we still do donate to our furry brethren. For Simon's year of captain we donated to Breast Cancer Care and for Richards year we are donating to Compaid Trust, a charity local to him that offer Computer Aid for Speech Impaired & Disabled People as well as Transport for Special Needs in and around northern Kent. 

Until recently they were located in Richards local hospital, but when the site redevelopment started they had to move out.  Richard lets them share part or his premises with their transport department and recently let another department use some of the office space they had spare.  Just one of those small local charities struggling by on whatever donations they can get. ........... and one he's quite keen to get off his back so we're going to bung them a hundred pound to stop hounding Maggsy.

'So there I was, I've got Tarby in a headlock.........'  Brewer recalls making friends and influencing people at the CWC Charity Day at Moor Park

As for Mike Stone, we're still waiting for details of his charity, but as he took two years to organise his Captains golf day, we're not holding our breath. But what a Captains day, certainly worth the wait. 2007-08 will go down in Badger Annals as the year we had two captains days thanks to the inefficiencies of our previous captain Mike Stone to organise one when he was captain.

Stoneys day was held earlier in the year at the sublime Knole Park and will be forever remembered as the day the Badgers discovered Gimmels. We say remembered because for those of us exposed to this wondrous elixir, most of the day is fairly blank.

The reason Knole is referred to as sublime is because we went quickly to the ridiculous. For the uninitiated, a Gimmel is Kummell mixed with Gin, and for that extra knudge into oblivion you can throw in a dash of tequila for a Gimmell with a twist. Quite frankly, it's fucking unbelievable. If the Government had wanted to see off badgers they needn't have gassed them, just fed them a diet of twisted gimmells and let the little buggers send themselves into orbit.

Pre-dinner drinks......Gimmels not included

The winner on that day was Mark Smith, hence why Micky Blue is still waiting for the trophy. It's the only thing Smudgers won all year which might explain his reticence in handing it over. Outrageous!!!!!!!!

So, 2007-08, a year to remember and one in which the bar has certainly been raised by the tenure of Richard Maggs, a fine Badger, Captain and, from our discussions at Wrotham Heath, a budding gynacologist!  With the thanks over, we moved onto the golf.

Under the patronage of Richard, 2007-2008 was another good year for the Badgers with 4 well attended golf days. This year we moved around the spring schedule, visiting Darenth Valley in early spring and South Essex in early summer.

Our autumn and winter visits stayed the same with visits to Woldingham and Birchwood Park, albeit we will also be swapping these two course around later this year as part of our 2008 - 2009 schedule. Given the confusion that reigned at South Essex, this switch should totally phase Harry 'care in the community' Cutts so please bear with him through these traumatic times.

Harry demonstrates that if you look up his nose closely enough, you can see the back of his skull.  There's nothing in there to get in the way, see....this is a man, after all, who swears blind that Nappa Valley wines come from Lebanon.  Keep taking the pills kid......

Swapping South Essex to the summer certainly made a difference as it played like a different course. This was probably helped by them putting us on a different course than normal so the front nine was a different course! We even managed to fit in a sponsored walk at South Essex courtesy of Harry when he had us stand on the wrong tee box for 15 minutes. His excuse is that he's now over 50. We thought it was because he's a thicko.

The committee also managed to introduce a new fixture in celebration of the Badgers reaching the grand old age of 5, with the last golf day at South Essex our 21st outing since the first. With the government repealing the order to cull Badgers we should have a good few years left in us to come, so this is going to become a yearly committee event. Our Birthday bash took place with a return to Farleigh Court, where it all started back in 2003 with the committee members playing for the Badgers Vase over 18 holes.

Surprise, surprise Sharpy won so is now the proud keeper of a fine piece of art deco glassware in the form of a vase. Or as Big Als wife said after he brought it home from the Berkshire after coming third in the Anglo American - 'what the hell's that, it's not coming in the house'!! Apparently Steve's wife Sue really likes it, which is no surprise - Steve is clear proof that she has no taste whatsoever.

Caruso on the Rose (it isn't an optical illusion, the glass was nearly as big as him.........)

 

..........whilst Sharpie was on everything else!!

This year membership has fallen slightly from 43 to 37 which is still a good number and allows us to regularly have in excess of 25 golfers at our golf days. Badgers merchandising continues to do well especially the balls which the members seem happy to spray around with gay abandon, so please carry on!!! All in all, with the society achieving five years and entering it's sixth year, we're in very rude health, so thank your all for you continued support and patronage.

In respect of the golf itself, overall 74 people have now played on our Badger days as members or guests since the first outing in May 2003 with an average playing handicap of 20. In terms of our ability, last year the average score was 30 off a handicap of 22, whilst this year we've dropped our average handicap to 21 with the average points scored at our golf days rising to 32, so there is a definite improvement of lowering handicaps and rising scores. All credit to the members for playing well and generally to your handicaps.

Badger day winners this year were Steve Brewer at Woldingham making him a two times Badger winner, his previous time being the infamous occasion at Birchwood when he turned up pissed at Birchwood after an hours sleep and proceeded to tear the course up getting 41 points. At Woldingham he was a little more reserved but still scored an impressive 45 points. In a little less than two years, Steve has dropped his handicap from 26 to 18, but can still turn in 36 points at South Essex and come 4th. Hardly surprising given that he spends most of his time on the golf course, at least when he's not getting his old pal Tarby in a headlock! Top badger!

Brewer awaits the announcement of Captain and lets the pressure show......

 

.......whilst Mickey Blue couldn't care less and just wants his trophy Smudger

At Birchwood Mike Stone took the honours giving him an unprecedented 3 Badger champion titles having won previously at Darenth last season and at South Essex in 2005. From his first win to now Stoners has dropped his handicap from 24 to 18 but, like Brewer, is still able to put in a good score, amassing 32 points at South Essex a couple of weeks ago. Hardly surprising given that he's done fuck all over the summer since Bear went tits up. Now he's back with the Wharf he should start playing like a complete wanker again!

Our first outing of the 2008 at Darenth was won by Eugenio Caruso with a first Badger Championship title on an unbelievable 45 points, unbelievable because the previous outing at Birchwood he'd shot 43 points and already been slashed 3 shots to 22. After showing off at Darenth we slashed him a further 5 shots, the single largest handicap adjustment in Badger history.

Well, at least since Sharpo docked Tuson 10 shots for spilling his pint in Davys back in the dark days of the patented Sharpie Handicap Adjustment Forecasting Table. Or, as we liked to call it at the time, SHAFT and Simon, you were well and truly SHAFTED. On the subject of shafting, between Darenth in 2006 and this year, we dropped Eugenio a staggering 10 shots to 17 which is a great reflection of his vastly improved performance on the course. Louise says it's a shame his performance hasn't improved everywhere else.....still, at least he's long off the tee......

Completing our list of winners Richard Maggs poignantly took the honours at South Essex on his last outing as current Badger Captain, a great feat giving him his second Badger title and repeating his success at the same course in 2007. Clearly coming North of the river does Maggsy some good. So congratulations to Richard in joining this elite club of double title winners alongside Peter Gallagher and Steve Brewer. Only Stoney has done the triple, and we're not talking about one of his nights out at Metropolis with Smithy.

Relationships between CW Contractors and Management were cordial......Big Al discusses Stoneys three wins......or was it Metropolis? 

This year there were 2nd places for John Pye at Woldingham and for Eugenio Caruso at Birchwood. At South Essex and Darenth John Deely secured back to back second places, matching the same feat on the same courses the previous season by Genty, but JD is still chasing that elusive first place.

3rd places went to Dave Guildford at Woldingham, Richard Gent at Birchwood, John Barnes at Darenth and Peter Gallagher at his local course South Essex.

There were Nearest the Pins for Harry Cutts at Woldingham, John Pye at Birchwood, my good self at Darenth and Steve Sharp at South Essex.

Longest drives were won by Mike Stone at Woldingham, Alan Ruddy at Birchwood, new member Marco Franchi at Darenth and yours truly at South Essex.

Lastly, team prizes went to Dave Guildford, Mike Stone, Eugenio Caruso and Richard Maggs at Woldingham, Simon Tuson, Mike Stone, Alan Ruddy and Sponsors honour Tim Holt at Birchwood, Nigel Smith, Dick Watts, Paul Gover and Harry Cutts at Darenth and at South Essex a couple of weeks ago we had Steve Sharp, Eugenio Caruso, John Deely and new member Clive Miles. Although we weren't giving too much away, as a guide to who came overall first for the Captaincy there was a certain person who won a prize at every golf day over the past year and who has now got more pictures of himself on the internet than Britneys crotch, with much the same haircut.

Pete Gallagher, Eugenio and Jerry (Honorary rugby trip Badger)

In summary, of our 37 members 21 have gone home with prizes this year which is a pretty good spread, especially as we have had one member unable to attend any of the days and 7 members who have only appeared once. 10 managed 2, 5 managed 3 days and 12 of you managed all of the days. Of the 15 playing members who have gone home empty handed this year, better luck next year.

Of special mention are Mark Smith - his second barren year on the trot, we just hope the big boy's getting a better strike rate at home. Also worth mentioning - Mike Healy who, despite sorting out the Badgers day trophys each time, was unable to win one and lastly the Kingspan boys who, despite there being three of them in the society couldn't win a thing. Like the BP2 raised floors all over again......

Looking ahead to next season, we commence in September with a visit to Birchwood at an earlier time in the year than previous years, followed by a welcome return in November to Woldingham were we will test it's delights in a winter setting. In April, we return to Darenth before the seasons climax at South Essex.

Genty demonstrates that he can't touch his nose with his tongue.  Nice try though

But the highlight of the day was the Captaincy of the Badgers for our 2008-2009 season and the awarding of the Badger Captain Trophy. The appointment of the Badgers Captain is designed to award both performance and support of the non committee members, so we simply take the combined total of scores across the year and divide by four for the number of appearances. This system really does give us the best all round Badger who has both played well and who has supported the society by turning up and playing.

This years contest was a pretty one sided affair and was all but decided after our third outing at Darenth because of the high standard of golf played by our incomming Captain. 12 Badgers managed to attend all four days and these did all fill the top 12 places, 4 made it to 3 days, 9 came to just two days and 7 made it to just one day. The placings, in reverse order, are;

36th with an average of 6 points - Mike Smith

Joint 33rd with an average of 8 points - Frank Kingham, Steve Eades and Clive Miles

Joint 29th with an average of 9 points - Bob James, Dick Watts, Mike Healy and Paul Gover

Joint 27th with an average of 10 points - John Barnes and John Merrals

24th with an average of 14 points - Alan Evans, Alec Vallintine and John Birdseye

Joint 21st with an average of 16 points - Alan Ruddy, Dave Bullock and Marco Franchi

Joint 19th with an average of 17 points - Mark Smith and Peter Jupp

18th with an average of 19 points - David Guildford

Joint 15th with an average of 23 points - Chris Knapp, Steve Hook and Wayne Dexter

14th with an average of 25 points - Nigel Smith

13th with an average of 27 points - John Pye

The top 12 appeared at all four days which, in our opinion warrants a separate trophy; we have the Badgers head for best score so this year we introduced a 'wooden spoon' style trophy for worst average across all four days.

So, on Joint 11th with an average of 29 points - Andy Bawn and Tim Holt and on the basis that he averaged 28.75 to Andy Bawns spot on 29, Tim Holt is the inaugural winner of the Badgers Golf Society Wankered Tankard!!!

Tim Holt receives the Wankard Tankard (presented at Birchwood Park)

Joint 8th with an average of 32 points - Richard Gent, John Deely and Harry Cutts

7th with an average of 33 points - Richard Maggs

Joint 5th with an average of 34 points - Simon Tuson and Steve Sharp

4th with an average of 35 points - Peter Gallagher

Joint 2nd place with an average of 36 points - Mike Stone and Steve Brewer

And finally, 1st place, winner of the Badger Captains' Trophy with an amazing average of 39 points and a handicap that has dropped 9 points in the past year - Eugenio Caruso. So the Badgers Head goes North to Essex!!!

Eugenio received his award from Richard and addressed the society as Captain. It went quickly downhill after that.........happy badgering!

 

More photos from the 2008 AGM;

Wayne Dexter, Chris Knapp, Dave Bullock

 

Errol the ipod charger man, Jane and Big Al.  No, we don't know where the big man's right hand is either but they're all smiling..............

 

Our genial hostesses with the mostesses - Jane and Angela 

 

Maggsy shows how many Badger Championships he's won.........

 

........whilst Big Al confirms how many Stoneys had

 

Big Nige let's a crafty one slip out and hopes nobody notices

 

Lord Rudders gets piped aboard

 

H, Big Nige, Jane & Errol

 

Post dinner carnage

 

Tuson stand-in Tony Mills and Sharpie try shadow puppeting.  Fingermouse it weren't

 

There was a fundamental flaw in puting Dave Bullock, Big Nige and Big Al on the same side of the boat.........

 

'My, what big cups you've got'

'They're wine glasses'

'I wasn't talking about those......'

 

Big Al tries starting a Mexican wave

 

Maggsy delivers his outgoing Captains speech

 

Big Al delivers the Committees Summary

 

Mickey Blue looks suitably impressed with the speeches

 

Brewer was so engrossed he was straight on the Blackberry.  Fine!!!!!

 

Sharpie taking a picture of us taking a picture of him.  Interesting.  Poor ol' Tone looks so glad he came......

 

Caruso hears his name confirmed as Captain.  Pete looks suitably impressed

 

Caruso drops his wallet as Maggsy collects a big wedge of cash for his nominated charity.......

 

.......then tries to drink it.  Top Badger!!

 

Caruso receives congratulations on his success.  Healy celebrates with some Northern Soul dancing.  Shamone!

 

Maggsy prepares to handover the Badgers Head Trophy whilst Caruso greets his adoring public and Stoney attempts to kung fu chop the new Captain

 

The proud recipient

 

Caruso gives up trying to stand up on his own and delivers his acceptance speech Supported by Maggsy as the lunch draws to a close.........

 

.......but being a man of few words you can guess what he said to close the days proceedings......

 

 

..............but it ain't over to 'till the fat lady sings (or Sharpie for that matter)!!

 

Over to Bar 38

 

3, 2, 1, back in the room.....

 

Sharpie entertains the laydeez with his patter

 

Then over to Corney & Barrow

 

Badger fancies a lardy-dah (cheers Tone!), Harry fancies a bucket

 

Badger has it large, whilst Brewers had it larger and resumes normal service.  3, 2, 1, out of the room......

 

Remember, excessive drinking is neither big nor funny and can seriously damage your health.......

.........a rare picture of Sharpie with a beard!!!!!!