South Essex in May 2004 was attended by 31 Badgers on an overcast, windy day but despite heavy rain in the early morning, the course was in great condition and the whole day was enjoyed by all.  A definite must for next year’s fixtures calender and a welcome change for those Essex Badgers from North of the river.

Badgers at South Essex (L-R); Martin Burrow, Frank Kingham, Tim Holt, Paul Comerford, Harry Cutts, Barry Palmer, Steve Hook, Nigel Smith, John Deely, Dick Watts, Andy Bawn, Dave Jarvis, Dave Bullock, Mike Stone, Mike Healy, Steve Beasley, Richard Maggs, Richard Gent, Alec Vallintine, Steve Sharp, Andy Kimpton, Simon Tuson, Phil Priest, Dennis Redgrave, John Birdseye, Paul Starbuck, Graham Starling, James Renkin

 

Team prize was won by Sharpie’s three ball of himself, Dennis Redgrave and Graham Starling, each getting a bottle of champagne.  Nearest the Pin was won by John Chapman playing on his home turf and the Longest Drive was won by ‘Little’ Timmy Down, proving it’s all about technique and not size (at least that what he tells his girlfriend).  Third place was won by Alec Vallintine with 33 points, Second Place by Phil Priest with 35 points and Best Badger was Graham Starling with an impressive 36 points.  Watch those handicaps go down quicker than a hooker on a stag night.

The winning team ; Sharpie, Dennis Redgrave & Graham Starling

 

The Steve Beasley ‘Rubbish Photographer’ Award went to Mike Healy who was responsible for this load of rubbish passing off as photos of the prize giving.  His pictures in Readers Wives are always so much better…….….The 100 metres sprint record went to the barman who thought Whipmaster Cutts was walking out with not paying (must have got him mistaken for Sharpie).  Only time we’ve seen an old boy move that quick was when a car backfired at last years Remembrance Parade.

Shortest Drive/Dribbly Dick Award went to Stevie Hook who has had his name changed by deed pole to Hook to reflect his game.  Unfortunately they wouldn’t let him have gonad.  This man has no shame, his tee shot not even going past the end of the yellow tee-box, let alone the reds.  As for Andy Bawn, his tee shot/slice/fballs-up cleared the halfway hut and two adjoining fairways to end up on the 18th.  They must do things different oop North.  Andys problem is his swing.  It’s rubbish.  Like his floors. (Smith & Deely told us to say the last bit).

Steve Topper Nee Hook

 

We’d also like to extend a warm welcome to our other Ladies Members joining Andrea Bawn and Stephanie Hook, all of whom failed to get past the red tee box;

 Leanne Appleby

 

 

Daphne Bullock

 

 

Pauline Comerford

 

 

Tamzin Holt

 

 

Other photos from South Essex (ie those that can play golf);

 Graham Starling – 1st Prize

 

 

Phil Priest – 2nd Prize

 

 

Alec Vallintine – 3rd Prize

 

Tim Down – Longest Drive

 

John Chapman – Nearest the Pin

 

All in all a great day with a good attendance.  However, the only black cloud was Steve Sharps poor preparation in choosing a club with no Guinness.  Unforgivably heinous crime for which a massive fine was imposed by Cuttsy, as yet unpaid by the Sharpster.  Stand in line Cutts, he’s got to pay off Davey’s first…. However, like the Murphys they did serve, the Badgers weren’t bitter and quite a few fake Guinness’ were downed in the bar afterwards.  Top Badgering behavior!  As the Murphys was eminently drinkable and a change is as good as a rest, a return visit is being planned for next spring, dates to be announced soon.

 

Results from South Essex;

1st Graham Starling off 23, scored 36, new handicap 18

2nd Phil Priest off 12, scored 35, new handicap 10

3rd Alec Vallintine off 23, scored 33, new handicap 23

4th John Chapman off 10, scored 33, new handicap 10

5th Tim Down off 21, scored 33, new handicap 21

6th Steve Sharp off 4, scored 32, new handicap 6

7th Barry Palmer off 26, scored 32, new handicap 25

8th Steve Beasley off 22, scored 32, new handicap 20

9th Dave Jarvis off 10, scored 31, new handicap 10

10th John Birdseye off 18, scored 31, new handicap 18

11th James Renkin off 26, scored 30, new handicap 26

12th Richard Maggs off 20, scored 30, new handicap 20

13th Dennis Redgrave off 28, scored 27, new handicap 28

14th Dave Bullock off 24, scored 27, new handicap 26

15th Paul Starbuck off 24, scored 27, new handicap 26

16th Simon Tuson off 20, scored 27, new handicap 19

17th Andy Kimpton off 8, scored 26, new handicap 9

18th Mike Stone off 27, scored 26, new handicap 28

19th Richard Gent off 22, scored 25, new handicap 26

20th Paul Comerford off 26, scored 24, new handicap 28

21st Harry Cutts off 28, scored 24, new handicap 28

22nd Nigel Smith off 25, scored 23, new handicap 28

23rd Steve Hook off 27, scored 23, new handicap 28

24th Frank Kingham off 36, scored 22, new handicap 36

25th Mike Healy off 24, scored 22, , new handicap 26

26th Dick Watts off 28, scored 21, new handicap 28

27th Martin Burrow off 28, scored 18, new handicap 30

28th Tim Holt off 28, scored 13, new handicap 32

29th John Deely off 24, scored 13, new handicap 26

30th Andy Bawn off 28, scored 11, new handicap 28

31st Lee Appleby off 36, scored 5, new handicap 36

 

Teams at South Essex (all L – R);  

Dennis Redgrave, Steve Sharp, Graham Starling

 

 

Andy Kimpton, Nigel Smith, Lee Appleby, Paul Starbuck

 

 

Andy Bawn, Martin Burrows, Steve Beasley, Phil Priest

 

 

John Birdseye, Harry Cutts, Mike Stone

 

 

Simon Tuson, Mike Healy, Dave Jarvis

 

 

Tim Holt, Paul Comerford, Frank Kingham

 

 

Tim Down, Alec Vallintine, James Renkin

 

 

Dave Bullock, Dick Watts, Richard Gent, John Chapman

 

 

Steve Hook, Barry Palmer, Richard Maggs, John Deely