Birchwood back in December was attended by 24 Badgers on a perfect winters day.  Quite a few shredded wheat must have been eaten for breakfast as some of the scores were immense and have caused a further review of the handicap adjustment system to be carried out, making things a bit fairer and ensuring everybody’s got a chance of getting on the winners rostrum.  In fairness to the Badgers at Birchwood there was no banditry going on, the condition of the course helped as the fairways were harder than a lap dancers bum and the rough was cut back closer than her bush (or his, depending on your persuasion).  The Badgers are a very liberal non-discriminatory Society; all noofters, k-y cowboys, shirtlifters, chutney ferrets, rear gunning, limp wristed, aids spreading bum bandits are welcome. 

With an average score of thirty-five and only two scores under 30 this was a course everybody was able to play well on.  Well, nearly everybody…. Steve Hook did his usual Territorial Army golf, scoring 27 points whilst looking for cover in every bush, bunker and ditch whilst Richard Maggs finally had the smile wiped off his face with 28 points….. The only downside to the day was the course management moving the tee times back later than we’d booked, meaning some Badgers didn’t get their full round in before darkness descended, so the scores have been adjusted to take account of the holes not played.  For this years return, we’ve booked a week earlier and have secured an earlier start. We may be nocturnal animals but that was taking the mickey….

Badgers on the 1st at Birchwood (L-R); Tim Down, Dave Guildford, Steve Sharp, John Nelson.  Last time we saw as much fabric as Sharpies jumper there were elephants and tigers running around under it.  Joking aside this is his second favourite item of clothing; the first is a pair of Michelles knickers he nicked out of her gym bag….

   

Team prize was won by Alan Ruddys team of Dave Jarvis, Nigel Smith and Mike Stone, each getting a bottle of champagne.  Nearest the Pin was won by Sharpie and the Longest Drive by Dave Jarvis.  Yawn, yawn.  Third place and first time on the winners rostrum was won by John Birdseye with 42 points, Second Place by Spencer Powell with 45 points and Best Badger was that man Dave Jarvis again with an impressive 48 points.  Watch those handicaps go down quicker than Norwich City.  Let’s be ‘avin you, Deliah?  Not with a boat like yours sweetheart. Dave Jarvis has got more chance….  

The winning team, left to right; Dave Jarvis, Alan ‘ A couple of bottles from my cellar’ Ruddy, Big Nige and Stoney

  

Other photos from Birchwood;

Dave Jarvis – 1st Prize

 

 

Spencer Powell – 2nd Prize

 

John Birdseye – 3rd Prize

 

Dave Jarvis – Longest Drive

 

Steve Sharp & Stomach – Nearest the Pin (Presented at Darenth Valley)

   

 

Badgers at Birchwood;

Richard Gent, Dave Guildford, Frank Kingham, Bob James, John Deely, Steve Hook, Steve Beasly, Dave Jarvis, Paul Starbuck, John Nelson, John Pye, Tim Down, John Birdeye, Spencer Powell, Mark Smith, John Chapman, Harry Cutts and Nigel Smith.  Harry Cutts looks like a dribbling, incoherent alcoholic.  Because he is.

 Listed below are the scores, placings and handicaps for Birchwood.  The columns are handicap (HC), points scored (Pts), placing for day (Plc) and your adjusted handicap for next time (Adj).  Note that since Birchwood the Handicap Adjustment has relied on the formula detailed at the bottom and all handicaps are now set to a limit of 28. The only exception to this is Lee Appleby who is truly rubbish. If you spot any mistakes, let us know and we’ll put in the next update what a picky little bugger you are! (As agreed I won’t tell them what a picky little bugger you are Simon – I’ll keep that to myself but thanks for all your comments…!)

1st Dave Jarvis off 12, scored 48, new handicap 7

2nd Spencer Powell off 23, scored 45, new handicap 19

3rd John Birdseye off 18, scored 42, new handicap 15

4th Steve Beasley off 22, scored 41, new handicap 19

5th Steve Sadgrove off 23, scored 40, new handicap 21

6th Richard Gent off 27, scored 40, new handicap 25

7th Nigel Smith off 28, scored 37, new handicap 27

8th John Nelson off 17, scored 37, new handicap 16

9th Paul Starbuck off 28, scored 36, new handicap 27

10th Bob James off 12, scored 35, new handicap 11

11th Steve Sharp off 6, scored 35, new handicap 5

12th John Pye off 18, scored 35, new handicap 17

13th Simon Tuson off 19, scored 33, new handicap 19

14th Mike Stone off 28, scored 32, new handicap 28

15th Tim Down off 21, scored 32, new handicap 21

16th Mark Smith off 18, scored 32, new handicap 18

17th Harry Cutts off 28, scored 31, new handicap 28

18th John Chapman off 9, scored 31, new handicap 9

19th John Deely off 28, scored 31, new handicap 28

20th Frank Kingham off 36, scored 31, new handicap 36

21st Dave Guildford off 22, scored 30, new handicap 23

22nd Alan Ruddy off 13, scored 30, new handicap 14

23rd Richard Maggs off 21, scored 28, new handicap 22

24th Steve Hook off 28, scored 27, new handicap 28

 

Key;

24 points and below = add 2 shots

Between 25 and 30 points = add 1 shot

Between 31 and 34 points = no change

Between 35 and 38 points = loose 1 shot

Between 39 and 41 points = loose 2 shots

Between 42 and 44 points = loose 3 shots

Between 45 and 48 points = loose 4 shots

49 points + = You, Sir, are a Bandit!

Winner = loose 1 shot

 

Teams at Birchwood (all L – R); 

John Nelson, Steve Sharp, Tim Down, Dave Guildford (the impatiant alcoholic!)

 

 

Paul Starbuck, Steve Hook, Simon Tuson

 

 

Frank Kingham, Richard Gent, John Chapman

 

 

John Birdseye, Harry Cutts, John Pye

 

 

Steve Beasly, Bob James, John Deely, Richard Maggs

 

 

Spencer Powell, Steve Sadgrove, Mark Smith

 

 

Dave Jarvis, Alan Ruddy, Mike Stone, Nigel Smith