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Details of the Badger Day held at South Essex in 2008 won by Richard Maggs (again) |
The Badgers Golf Day at South Essex 2008 was held on the 28th June and was attended by 26 Badgers and their guests. We would have had more but some Badgers, such as Marco Franchi, failed to appear. Marco is like his ironmongory; never showed up and all we got was a load of lame excuses. He was sorely missed....at least his bottle of Amaretto was.... The day was generously sponsored by Steve Brewer and the boys at PIP (http://www.pipelectrical.com/) and our thanks go to them. Being a Billericay lad from just up the road, Brewer had the shortest drive. Five yards in front of the yellow tees in fact. The ball went further sideways than it did forwards making for an interesting second shot, but not nearly as interesting as that first! Being sponsor, Steve was afforded the benefit of respectful silence on the tee box as he composed himself for his second shot. And if you believe that, you'll believe Marco's ironmongory will turn up on time as well........ Shortest Drive; Steve Brewer. Yes, that really is the yellow tees on the right.......Brewer lines up for his second shot on the first
Unfortunately, whilst appearing a sunny day from the photos, there were some dark clouds overhead......the day will be forever remembered as not one of Harry Cutts finest hours. Being the Committee member whose sole responsibility is to book the courses you'd think he'd be the one person to know what breakfast we'd be getting and which of their courses we'd be on. Unfortunately not. Care In The Community has got a lot to answer for. Cue everybody turning up early for a slap up full English and only getting a bacon roll, then Harry standing with us on the wrong tee box for 15 minutes before confirming that he'd known all along that we were on the wrong course. Quality. Any fewer brain cells he'd qualify as a plant. Using the excuse that he was only following everybody else is a bit sad for a man of 50. The clues in the title - we're the Badgers Golf Society, not the Badgers Follow My Leader Society. We should be thankful however; leaving 26 Badgers dissappointed is nothing compared to the dissappointment his wife's been experiencing every night for the past 15 years. As the old saying goes, the empty can rattles the most and, boy, was Cutts rattling. We heard that many lame excuses, you'd have thought it was a job interview for Franchi's..... Still, after our emergency rations breakfast and route march, we finally got to play some golf, and what golf it was. South Essex in the summer plays more like a links with hard fairways and high punishing grass. On a hot sunny day with a stiff breeze, you could have been playing Portmarnock. Except you weren't in Ireland. And the Guiness was shite. Still, some got to grips with it (the golf, not the Guinness although we gave it a good go), some didn't. The Winning Team obviously did and was composed of Steve Sharp, Eugenio Caruso, John Deely and new member Clive Miles. Normal service resumed; Big Al commences the awards ceremony, Maggsy skulls a Guinness
Winning Team; Steve Sharp, Eugenio Caruso, John Deely, Clive Miles
There's a reason we take two photos everytime and this is it; the winning team pose for their first photo with Captain Maggs who clearly can't wait for his next drag on the cigarette! Outrageous!!!
We all know that a Badgers Golf Day isn't complete unless Sharpo visits the winners rostrum at least twice, so avoiding any dissapointment the big man was back up for Nearest the Pin and was only beaten to Longest Drive by an even bigger man, Alec Vallintine. Also picking up a prize as Winning Guest was Derek Slatford. Nearest the Pin; Steve Sharp
Longest Drive; Alec Vallintine
Winning Guest; Derek Slatford
In Third Place was John Deely on 37 points. With Big Nige coming sixth Accsys Projects had a great day with two top ten finishes, unlike their arch rivals Kingspan who could only muster 12th and 25th. Seems like Accsys beat Kingspan at most things these days......with another 37 points and in Second Place on countback from JD was local boy Pete Gallagher with yet another strong performance at South Essex. However, Winner for the second year in succession at South Essex and poigniently in his last appearance as Club Captain was Richard Maggs with an immpressive 39 points. 3, 2, 1, back in the room.....Third Place; John Deely
2nd Place; Peter Gallagher
First Place; Richard Maggs
Nice to see Brewer staying awake through this golf day, unlike Moor Park......
Full results from South Essex; 1st Richard Maggs, 39 points off 19, new handicap 16
Attendees at South Essex; Team 1; Steve Sharp, John Deely, Eugenio Caruso, Clive Miles
Team 2; Nigel Smith, Steve Brewer, Frank Kingham, John Colbeck
Team 3; Mike Stone, Harry 'The Lobotomy' Cutts, Derek Slatford
Team 4; John Merralls, RIchard Maggs, Tim Holt, John Birdseye
Team 5; The Cat In The Hat, Simon Tuson, Alan Evans
No, we don't know why Genty was doing his best Dr Seusss impression in the picture above either. Here's another couple of pictures so you can compare and make your own minds up..... Cat in the Hat? Or Twat not in a Hat?
You decide!
Team 6; Dave Bullock, Chris Knapp, Peter Gallagher, Wayne Dexter
Team 7; Alec Vallintine, Steve Eades, Andy Bawn, Alan Ruddy
Andy Bawn displays his hairless legs complete with shaving cuts. Must be a geordie thing....? Last time we saw legs like these they were covered in breadcrumbs
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